Introducing Sage My dear friend. (Oh, and my beef today.)

       I’d say the world has gone crazy… but the fact is it’s always been crazy. Humans have always been destructive and mean hearted. It’s a part of who we are. You can never shock me with the news that a police man; someone who is supposed to protect the community, just murdered a woman, man, or child. It has been happening for a long time. I do not have it in me to be surprised that this oppressed community will be so tired and outraged (a really bad combination, ask any angry woman) enough to destroy the very place they live in. Oh don’t be so shocked, at least this reason is a little more valid then a group of people looting and destroying because of the outcome of a basketball game.  

       Everyone is focusing on the outcome… no one wants to look at the roots. It’s more than racism; it’s more than even history. (If you study it, the story remains the same; there is always a group of people treated poorly, enslaved. The word genocide is not rare and does not pertain to one group of people.) We are allowing outside sources to run our culture and communities… all of us! I’m not just talking to African descendants; I’m talking to the human race. We are allowing the system to define us… we got to go back to our roots. We got to go back to love.

“OH MY GOD BECKY… IS SHE, LIKE, SERIOUS?”

       Everyone is oh so busy… too busy to complete the missions we were sent here to do; one of which is to love each other. We are too busy loving money, loving our drugs, loving the media and those who run it. We are too busy loving the internet and taking selfies, too busy loving our phones… to involved with our egos. I don’t want to give a lecture; I am the last person to lecture anybody.  But it is the disintegration of our families that is the root of our problem. No one can take advantage or hurt you if you have a strong foundation. What happened to eating and talking together during dinner? Instead we are focused on our TV or phones while we shove food into our mouths. Does anybody even eat at the table anymore? What happened to family and community time on Sundays? Church was more than a house of worship it was a gathering of the minds, where one would go if one was interested in building up and protecting their community. What happened to understanding and being more involved in our children’s education? They don’t teach children about civil rights in our elementary schools anymore. I found that out teaching in the lower east side back in 2009. If they are not teaching our children what happened only fifty years ago, why are we surprised that they would behave in a violent manner… they literally don’t know any better! I can go on and on but…

       Today marks the first day I have a guest blogger. Sage has been a good friend to me for almost two years. He is an amazing guy… and a New Yorker! My voice is not the only voice in this city! Enjoy!!!

SAGE: 

    Welcome 2 miseducation, where Schools will teach you about stuff that you won't remember and won't be useful in the future. But because it's in the "criteria" children must oblige to the instructions from their teachers. A Criteria is a standard of judgment or criticism; a rule or principle for evaluating or testing something. So is there a Criteria for the "Criteria"? Is there a way for those who are subjected to this "criteria" to have a say about modifying it to better educate those who are being educated?

    I and Athena have similar experiences in the work field. We both were educators for over a decade and both decided to take our talents to another field which we are now successful in. Not putting down an educators work but there wasn't much financial stability in it nor promises for the future no less.

    So now being on the outside looking in it's still the same picture except the artists have changed. It's moving to see young men and women (even if it is just a summer gig) help try and educate the children in their communities. You can see these youths all through the city in their colorful uniform shirts telling kids to get in line or how to act accordingly on the trains during the summer. As I sit back and smile and reminisce on the experiences I had, I wonder if these young eager educators are in it for the long haul. I know some may not be and just need some summer cash, but there are some bright stars out there that need to be wished on. I've worked alongside some of em, Cory, Tyrell, Steven, Brandon, Tyriem, Juwan, Farris and some more that remain in the sky waiting to be wished to. This "criteria" pertains to them too, for they are the ones instructing to meet it. Do my roses that grew from concrete get to chime in and give suggestions on how to better suit it for the youth? Why not? They too were a part of the system, why shouldn't they have a voice? Instead let's set them up to fail and chalk it up to being a product of their environment.

   I did volunteer work for a short period of time, I enjoyed it but never imagined a future in it. Until my former employer and I were not on the same page and found it best that we both move on from each other (I wasn't fired!). I then was presented an opportunity to get paid for my educational services and was offered a job within a week of the break up btw me and my other job. I was a natural, a born educator with a gift, ready to give my all to the community. With experiences similar to these young men and women coming from an urban setting where my eyes witnessed things you would only hear in rap songs and see in movies, I was easy to relate to and more than understanding of their youthful trials and tribulations.

    When I first started out I saw a lot of promise in this field. Summers off (if you choose), being challenged to make creative activities, bonding and being a leader to a bunch of hungry minds that were trapped within the city's "criteria" and system. I was eager to move mountains and make an impact in children's lives (as cliché as that may sound). I wanted to help open up minds and educate them on opportunities, help them make something of themselves and give them the hands on training I didn't have.

   I myself as a child was not given the most attention by teachers. They were mostly hands off and just wanted me out of their schools to meet numerical graduation standards. I wasn't the hardest child to deal with; I just needed help to be intrigued by what was being taught to me. I always found school to be boring and even from a young age I always questioned the things being taught to us. Why should I be judged on not knowing a bunch of stuff that happened years ago? Why am I being judged because every year at the science fair I would have this stupid potato with toothpicks in it and would come home with a "B". How is that gonna make me the next Roberto Clemente or Tito Puente? Even though I may not have had the mechanics or the brain capacity at 10yrs old I still feel that there should be some understanding of the reason why we are being taught what we are learning, and not just because that's what the adults wants us to learn. So when I came into education my goal was to actually teach these kids something they can use in life, not a bunch of shit told to us by a bunch of bull-shitters.

  As years went by more tests and less recreation were implemented in the "criteria". My class started to get restless and vented about how stressed they were. I then proceeded to go on YouTube and played "Fat people falling". It was a hit with my class but not with my boss. She asked why I would play such a video. My intentions were not to mock overweight folk with horrible balance but to bring some laughter into the room to cut the tension (my class lost their mind when my boss canceled gym for more test prep). Everyone with a paper certification or degree won't understand that. They will throw policies and all types of nice dolled up words at you for letting kids be kids. A lil neighborhood snapping on each other didn't affect me too much, just made me have tougher skin and made me quick at the mouth. Now they wanna call it "bullying" or "learning disabilities" or they're going through stuff at home. How about the shit you’re teaching them sucks! And you're turning them into stressed out robots with minimal personality. Why don't we encourage kids to be creative? Instead of finding it in a system made book and scantron.

    I heard there's this school on the East side that doesn't give homework. Instead they encourage children to have family bonding time and relax after a 7-10 hour day of a barrage of information from textbooks thrown at em...plus lunch and gym sometimes. So what's the problem? Can we not chill with our kids? Bond with them, learn their personalities, what their interests are and encourage them to grow up and make a difference instead of em watching hours of perverse innuendos from Sponge Bob? Yeah, they were brought up in the system as well so of course they're gonna find this outrageous. All a part of this Homework hierarchy which brainwashed as well.

      As long as the "criteria"(there's that word again) calls for city tests and a bunch of other useless things to throw at our youth we will all continue to be mis-educated. We are all responsible for it, because I'm sure if you did take the time to read this you couldn't tell me shit about George Washington and our founding fathers. And if you can SO WHAT! They ain't paying the bills, last I checked I owe'd Uncle Sam $15 and 50 cents. Teach our kids to pay that back. Welcome to the Miseducation...

The fourth week RAMBLE!!

         Wow! I am in such a transition! My life is changing so fast and without my permission! Everyone at this moment looks like a stranger to me. I’m rambling! This happens every so often, where I just talk about all that’s on my mind… bear with me.

          First off; update on the FedEx guy. (Yes I’m still talking to him.) He called me as I was shopping on 34^th looking for the best amazing dress for my family annual ball. He told me he was a few blocks away and to come and meet him. He had me walk with him as he delivered his packages guys!! I was tired from working all day, but I had a good time talking to him. Told my coworkers Matt Ford and My Cat who instantly cracked up. “That was your first date? You’re so easy!” Laughed Matt Ford…. Dang, I didn’t even think of it that way! The nerve! He secretly had the first date with me not spending money but making money… and I entertained him while he was doing it!! Thank you, Matt Ford and My Cat for pointing that out. It’s ok because I got this blind date that’s not so blind cuz I peeped his Facebook… Ladies and gentleman this one looks like a keeper! He looks good! Though Sunny thinks he looks kinda gay.

       I had a dinner party a few nights ago! I’m so getting into the art of hosting, Yes, I am that woman. The pearl wearing, big smiling, welcome to my home woman. If only my guest saw the big mess I was before I opened my doors. Since I was a child I imagined I would have dinner parties or just intimate dinners. I tried a few times for the past few years to throw some… The one I had recently was by far the best because I had help from my family and friends. I entertained 14 people! My Cat helped me design the invitations. On the menu; fruit and cheese platter, Fried ravioli, Meat Balls with my special sauce, pot stickers, Kennedy made asparagus. I baked amazing cup cakes with homemade icing. MIN made the meatball sauce. Nika was late and therefore no help, and Azaiya didn’t show up. We played creative arts therapy games… Well, they told me it was fun. They asked me to do it every other month!

        I miss having sex, and I miss the person I use to have sex with… but I think it’s more like the person I thought he was because honestly I probably don’t really know him. I don’t miss feeling insecure. And that makes it easier to go on with my day. I totally believe in soul ties, and I’m pretty sure I’m done untying my soul from his. See the thing is, I am a woman worthy of respect… Indeed all women are! That is what I know will bring me true happiness… sometimes we get hooked to our dreams, I was promised reality is a shit load better. Looking forward to it!   

      I’m dyslexic! NO REALLY! I’m not one of those people who say it because they made a mistake. When I was a kid I was confused between b,d,p,q right and left. I’m horrible with names, mispronounce with ease…. Etc. I’m getting real sick and tired of being underestimated. Not by strangers mind you, but by the people I love. They should know better. Especially those who are close to me, and I’m not about to sit here and point out each and every time you insult me.

         Last but certainly not least, I finally found my church home. I told ya’ll how I feel about God. That’s where the transitioning comes in. I prayed God would direct my path and he directed my ass straight to church. And right on time too. There is a stirring happening within me. My mind is changing so rapidly it has stunned me into silence. I am changing and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Why would I want to stop it? Because change is scary. Sometimes it’s hard to hear Gods voice in the place I’m in, and so he placed me with people who is committed to building his kingdom. I trust him, and I look forward to meeting the woman he is building. I look forwards to being introduced to the world. 

That Awkward Moment

        I don’t know what it is about spring in New York City. The season brings out the best in everyone. I know for myself, winter pushes me to my fashion edge. I don’t drive so layers it is, tights, leggings, jeans, sweats. I’m not kidding! I don’t want to feel the cold. That being said, I’m MIA for a good two months in winter, when it’s at its coldest. I don’t know about other New Yorkers, but I’m just not that social when it’s below zero. However, when spring comes around, that’s when I am inspired to get into my Audrey Hepburn mode. Ankle length slacks, blazers, flats. It’s the season where my hair gets longer, straighter, with a little curl. You can see the sparkle of my earrings, and my nails get painted. I’m dancing all over town, reveling in the feel of warmer weather and longer days. 

I met Aaron on a warm spring day. It was one of those random moments when someone comes into my job asking about the club upstairs. I politely gave him the information, stating it would be open later in the day. 

"Wow, your're beautiful." He said

"And you're flirting with me!" I said, shocked because I am that girl.

"Of course I am." he replied. "Are you going upstairs tonight?"

"No, sadly I'm not allowed."

"Well, Is there any other lounge in the city?"

"Yes." I smiled

He came back at the end of my shift, and off we went. I told my co-workers everything just in case I went missing. It was a really beautiful experience. We went to a beautiful roof top bar on the east side. He kissed me in the elevator. “I just want to keep kissing you.” He said. “Why?” I asked. He turned me towards the mirror. “Why wouldn't I? Look at you.” Did I mention he’s in his late 40’s? Old man swag, its real ya’ll. We went to the W hotel and laughed a good portion of the night away in the bar. Then it came time for the night to end somehow. He walked me half way to Penn station. I was quite aware that he lived close by. “So…” He whispered while kissing my ear. “Are we ending the night?”

                       Ah, that awkward moment. 

I didn't go home with him. I’m not interested in having sex with a stranger. But that seems to be everybody’s agenda now days’.                  

“Hi! My name is Mike, when can we fuck?”                                             

Now Aaron was a gentleman, and if we went on a few more dates and he acted the same way, it could have went down. He’s a business man who travels however, so it wasn't in the cards. Plus I wasn't attracted to him like that. But ever since I was a young virgin with budding small boobs, men and boys have been trying to get all up in this. And I might be a freak, but it turns me off. I’ll never forget being a freshman in college, and a boy I was crushing on actually talked to me in the library. The conversation was going great until;

"You hear about People actually having sex in the library."

"Really!? No! That's crazy." I laughed.

"Yeah... Would... You... Like to have sex... In the library?"

That awkward moment.

"No." And then he never talked to me again.

Is it me? Is there some kind of sign on my forehead; “Ask me for sex!” I know I’m woefully old fashioned. So, it IS me. Recently one of the FedEx delivery guys started flirting with me. My co-worker Sunny hooked it up. “She’s single.” She sang. He asked for my number and that’s a wrap. He’s cute; he has a good job, Seems sweet. And ya’ll know my agenda. Perfect. He called me later that night.     

"So tell me about yourself." He said.

"Well, I love to dance, I'm getting into the art of cooking, I love God and my birthday is 7/9."

"Oh really? 7/9! I heard you people are clean freaks, and freaks in bed. Is that true?"

"Well I don't think I'm a clean freak... I'm kind of sloppy actually."

"And what about in bed?" He asked.

"I don't think that's an appropriate conversation for our first phone call."

                                  I AM A SQUARE!

The next day when I told Sunny she exclaimed;                            

"Girl no one to waste time! He wants to know if you're a lame or nah, don't nobody wanna lay down with no dry bitch!"

"I don't even like him like that."

"OK but that's not the point. You are dating and trying to create options. You can't do that if you are being judgmental." then she gave me her famous side eye.

BBG Wareen, another co-worker had a different take. "Guys are always going to push to see how far they can go."

  He never stopped though. Sex keeps getting slipped into the conversation. Should I really be this bothered? I've been harassed for sex for about two decades now. Should I now consider this the norm? I like sex. I do! I just don’t think it should be so… important when you are trying to get to know somebody. I want to be courted! Wined and dined! OK, I’ll be the first to admit it. I did grow up on Disney, and romance novels. My mother and older sister were huge soap opera fans! So yes! I expect an amazing love story for my life. I want someone to be interested in my thoughts and ideals. Why am I the way I am? Why are you the way you are? Can we walk through the park together, sit under the warmth of the sun or the shine of the moon and just talk to each other, until we recognize something inside of ourselves that presses our lips together. Can we go on an adventure? It doesn't have to be expensive, we could go to the Lincoln center outdoors, or listen to the Philharmonic play at Central Park… a picnic at the park. We can visit the African arts festival, or the Afro Punk festival. We can museum hop! I want to find out who you are happy, mad, sad and in between. The point is can I see if I like you enough to want to be your friend? Can we become as close as best friends? Can I get to know you before I let you inside? Find out what kind of man you are, who I may be raising a child with, owning property with, growing old with. Who will I take care of or care for me in our old age? Am I thinking too much? Is all this really old fashioned? Maybe that’s why I’m single.

. 

The Booty Call You Stick With.

       

        I am a native New Yorker. Unlike those so called rude Idaho migrant ‘New Yorker’ I was born and raised here. Contrary to popular beliefs perpetuated by people who move here and want to be one of us so bad; natives are not rude, we are very nice and helpful. We don’t go around screaming “Aye, Fuck You!” Though, if you fuck with us we will say that and more. I admit it… some of us is crazy. I live in the most diverse city in the world; of course there will be some interesting characters. We get fresh New Yorkers every day. African, Asian, European, Latin based. We natives are a mixture of races. A mixture of amazing personalities, shaped by the borough we rock with. Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Manhattan… and yeah, even Staten Island. Add Long Island to the mix and that’s a shit load of people.

                             So, why does dating in NYC sucks?

        Are you surprised? It shocks the shit out of me every time I decide to get me a man. Now, before you question me about where I go to find these men and how I look when I go hunting; I want you to know that growing up in New York I learned a few tips… fast.

             

              1.  Of course always look your best. Which is the fun part isn’t it? Get your hair done, paint your nails, and paint your face. Rock that outfit, strut in those heels (insert bitch resting face here).

             

              2.    Do not pick a man you meet at the club. An important lesson provided to me by my twenties. It always ended badly by like the next day. You wake up, probably hung over and realize they look very different in the light of day, and they act different too lacking the liquid courage that gave them confidence the night before, you realize they are now sober and riddled with insecurities so in short… assholes.

              3.     He might be gay. You never know until you know, so find out as much as you can as soon as you can.

              4.      He might be married, or have 5 kids. Children aren’t a problem for me… but baby mothers are. Find out as much as you can as soon as you can.

              5.     Musicians are crazy… fun but crazy.

       So that’s all I know for now. I’m sure my thirties will provide me with some new details to store away. I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to that, but really I don’t have a choice. I’m one of those women who need to get married. Are you surprised? I’m romantic. I use to read romance novels by the tons when I was a teenager… I also read Anne Rice. So my idea of romance and marriage is not at all traditional. But I do want to build with someone, procreate with someone, travel and grow old with someone. I think I deserve that. Don’t you?

        You may be wondering how does dating in diverse beautiful New York City sucks? Well first of all, a lot of people are in situational-ships. They are in situations that mimic a relationship but without the title and or responsibilities. The booty call you stick with for years. You can’t help who you love right. So while you’re stuck in that bullshit, the person you are dealing with is probably in a series of these situations. I don’t know about you, but I want to be the one and only… with a title.

      There are a lot of homosexuals in the city… a lot of them are my friends. I love them but I can’t date them. And this may sound… horrible, I’m not sure how politically correct I am, and I don’t care. But I don’t want to date a bi-sexual. They just love everybody! And one thing a man needs to know about me is; Your Athena is a Jealous Athena made in the image of her maker. I do not share.

       There are a lot of undercover ass holes in NYC. It makes dating here unbearable! I’d get into what makes one an ass hole, but I think it would be better to share that as we go along. I promise you we’ll meet plenty.

So there you have it and it’s not even all of it. But it will have to do, for now.